Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
