More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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