yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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