Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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