operation have a gay friend backfired
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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