At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
