well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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