There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
