normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He? As in you personified your dick?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize