too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
