someone owes me an orgasm
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
