hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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