I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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