Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
