I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
