I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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