my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
