he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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