hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
