i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize