What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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