I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
