just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
