this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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