Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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