She is in my trunk
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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