So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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