Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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