you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
