I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
