I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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