And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
