I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
