I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
