I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
