it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
