I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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