is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
