last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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