oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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