if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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