are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
