"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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