Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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