love makes seman taste better
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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