I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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