butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
