I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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