Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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