i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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