the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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