these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
