Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
