I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
