That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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