so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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