The maid of honor just puked.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
