from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
