I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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