We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
