so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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