A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize