i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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