ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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