so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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