Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
