But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
