You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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