so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think I just sharted jello shots
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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