yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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