I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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