Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
