I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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