She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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