So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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