I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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