please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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