her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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